My Begrudging Culture

but not THAT sorry about it

Hello & welcome back to my free tier! 👋🏼 Apparently people enjoyed taking in things that are not my culture, so I figured this time I’d involve some culture I’m semi begrudgingly apart of. Not to be confused with a guilty/secret pleasure, those are entirely different things that will go on my paid tier at a later time if I decide to. More aspects will be added another time, but this just felt timely.

The Met Gala

I usually look forward to the 1st Monday of May, so much so that while I was in France during last year’s Met Gala, the red carpet became the thing I set an alarm for that I still just HAD to watch live. The only year I really tapped out was because I was blocks away dodging street closures to see mgk at SummerStage in Central Park with friends. So while this isn’t the 1st year I would categorize the Met Gala under a begrudging aspect of Tess Culture, this is definitely the most obviously annoying one.

I can be a girl’s girl, but most importantly, I can also outCunt pretty much anyone if I really have to. Quite frankly, Lauren Sanchez couldn't have semi-decent taste if it violently rammed itself up her ass. I’m choosing to be kind. Ethically, morally and politically having her & Jeff as chairs is batshit. But even on an artistic below Filene’s Basement RIP level taste aspect it’s nonsensical when Lauren has still yet to correct her Real Housewife on her 3rd season face. You’ve chosen to embarrass yourself on a global scale & still can’t fix that mug? Buy something that isn’t tacky? All that money but still can’t grasp how to stop looking & sounding so obviously like a tacky ass American doing their best to cosplay having a sliver taste or even possibly an organic opinion of her own. I’ll stop before I get mean though.

If only the theme were something I didn’t care about, but unfortunately, Costume Art is very much Tess Culture. The blows just amplify themselves really.

Fashion IS art, but Lauren and Jeff will always be vendors, never visionaries. Though unfortunately my confidence in Lauren is lower given the filler to start.

The red carpet will most likely be less interesting this year with some notable favorite guests deliberately not attending this year. People already love to act as if there’s no theme so putting art as the assignment into the hands of the patron saint of dumbass tech bros gives me no confidence whatsoever for a large chunk of this year’s attendees.

Will I still do a check in on red carpet photos? Sure. Will I visit the exhibit because the Met Gala is & always has been a fundraiser for the arts that has only fairly recently become an actual celebrity spectacle? …well yeah, but that’s why this is begrudging.

If anyone’s written a book about the evolution of the Met Gala, drop it in the comments because I’d love to read it. With that said, I’m going to go prep myself to watch which celebrities make a bigger stink about hiding their outfits as they leave the hotels. A new but important part of what makes the 1st Monday of May so much fun.

You can’t totally ruin our parades, but it doesn’t mean we have to be happy (or quiet) about it.