Not My Culture
bitching & bleeding out
Hello & welcome back to my free tier where I’m going to just go off on things that are not my culture. I normally try to keep things lighter on my free tier, but I’m actively bleeding out, so fuck that. Though the temps are warming up again so maybe I’ll rediscover the will to live for a prolonged period of time soon! Watch this space!
The Romanticization of Space
edit thanks to @thefilmenthusiasts on instagram
I went to see Project Hail Mary this week despite not being pro space travel, thanks to Ryan Gosling’s face. I walked in with more of an open mind for a non fantasy based space movie as best as I could, but I walked out with my most common space thought, “This all could’ve been avoided because there was literally not 1 good reason for this man to go to space…” THERE JUST WASN’T!!! Rocky was cute, I’ll give him that…BUT HE LITERALLY DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO SPACE! The romanticization of space & the continued propaganda to go colonize other planets because a bunch of Earth losers can’t stop using chatGPT just isn’t working on me. I guess no one has realized that colonization isn’t the answer? Instead of traveling to space, why not do something useful like rob one of Jeff Bezos’ houses? Young people aren’t robbing famous people’s houses like they did when I was growing up smfh. A lost art for real.
My Melody
This bitch pops up everywhere you don’t want her to & she’s my #1 opp behind T**mp.
As a Kuromi girl, My Melody pisses me the fuck off. Do you know how many times I see a cute Kuromi item only for it to be ruined by the presence of My Melody? How many Kuromi figurines I would love the chance to unbox but don’t because I know there’s a high possibility I’m going to unbox a fucking My Melody? FREQUENTLY! From my understanding, there’ve been a number of Sanrio animated series that now make My Melody & Kuromi opposites attract best friends. Personally I don’t give a fuck, stop trying to force My Melody into my home, stop riding Kuromi’s coattails & get your own personality girl because I can’t take this anymore. See me stumble upon My Melody in a MINISO & you’ll hear me exclaim “Oh my god fuck OFF MY MELODY!” Justice for Kuromi, let her be her own person, & let me enjoy Kuromi items without the fear of a My Melody jumpscare. I’ve since learned that in more recent iterations of the Sanrio universe that Kuromi is now the leader of a biker gang…when *I* hopped on to the Kuromi train, she was Hello Kitty’s witch friend who loved Halloween, riding her broom & casting spells in her jack-o-lantern home. I’m NOT aspiring to run a biker gang any time soon-just so we’re all clear.
Weekend Lines
As someone frequently working in the West Village on weekends, I’m challenging weekend warriors to spend a weekend in their hometown. I’m sure Connecticut’s lovely this time of year! STOP CREATING LINES FOR BASIC SHIT! 9 times out of 10 my choice of meal when working 2 shifts isn’t necessarily what I’m ACTUALLY in the mood to eat, but whatever DOESN’T have a line! Joe’s & John’s pizza lines will never die down, that’s year round, and we’ve all just begrudgingly decided to accept it…but I can not stress how much pizza is available in Manhattan that isn’t in the West Village, you’d be amazed! Not to mention there’s an entire globe worth of cuisines available walking distance from every pizzeria with a stupid ass line. Most of these lines are actually covering up a lot of amazing spots due to out of town idiots waiting in a fucking line because of some other loud & wrong transplant on the internet. There are restaurants & take out counters of world renowned foods available, yet every basic bitch & their mother is lining up for PIZZA. I’m begging y’all to get a fucking grip & develop a personality.
Stealing From Burlington
This is going to be a little more niche than usual, but bear with me. I love a bargain, I love a bargain I’ve hunted for, I love a bargain that makes me feel like there’s a chance I may have gotten one over on the manufacturer. because fuck big business, obvs. I’m not trying to protect Burlington Coat Factory as a conglomerate, but I simply must speak. My closest go to Burlington location began to have an armed guard at the entrance around the holiday season. Added retail security during the holidays isn’t out of the question, though I did think even then that the bulletproof vest was a little much for a not super popular mall in Queens, NY. Reader, it’s currently April, and Burlington has NOT let down on their security. Bulletproof vest? Still on. And he is handling the entrance with more seriousness than the doors of PACHA in the 2000s. Do you know how long it took me to purchase a $20 Ed Hardy purse? The purses at Burlington Coat Factory have more eyes on them than Jeffrey Epstein did behind bars. I don’t understand. Why did I have to wait ages for a little teen girl to come unarm a $20 purse then hold it at the register?! Stop stealing from Burlington Coat Factory, it’s bothering me. but if anyone wants to pick up the Von Dutch flame bag for me tysm
Despite many other things not being my culture, that’s all for now. Thanks so much for reading & I’ll see you next time!👋🏼